Still Standing — The Fifth One Taught Me 🩼

From: The Think Tank

I’m sitting here in the surgeon’s office again.

Another post-op visit, another step forward.

This time feels different. This time, I actually believe I’m healing.

The assistant who’s been checking me in for the last four years told me today that she’s leaving the office. It hit me more than I expected. She’s seen me go through every single surgery — all five of them. She’s seen the highs, the lows, and the pain I used to hide behind a smile. She’s seen me go from not having a son, to now being the father of a two-year-old little boy.

Every time I’d come in, she’d ask how I was doing. And every time, I’d give her the same answer: “Trying to get back to myself.” After this fifth one, something’s changed. The whole team — from the surgeon to the assistants — told me they’re proud of how far I’ve come. They remember the complications from before, the frustration, the slow recoveries. Now they’re seeing progress. Real progress.

I can finally shower on my own again. Dress myself without needing help. Walk around the house without feeling like I’m stumbling all over the place. Yeah, there’s still pain. There’s still discomfort. If I stand too long or walk too far, it hits me hard. The difference is — I can walk. I can move. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m nowhere near where I was, and that means something.

Seriously, after five spinal surgeries, I know I’ll never be the same version of me I once was. That’s not the goal anymore. The goal is to be better. Stronger. More aware. More grateful.

My wife, my daughter, and my son usually come to these appointments with me for support. Today they waited in the car, and I found myself thinking about how much they’ve carried me through. I’ve missed moments. I’ve fought discouragement. I’ve also witnessed faith in action — through them, through my online community, through every person who’s prayed for me or sent encouragement without ever meeting me in person.

To everyone who’s believed in my recovery, thank you. You’re part of my story now. You’re part of this journey that started in pain but is finally turning into peace. Yeah — hopefully, I leave here today with a script for therapy, because that’ll mean I get to push even harder.

I might never be the “old me” again, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe this version — the one who’s still standing after five surgeries — is the one I was always meant to become.

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👉🏾 Share this post with someone who’s fighting through their own recovery.

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